The Seven Biggest Wedding Mistakes…

By: Rod Jovanelly       A Touch of Color Photography

1. Wedding gown problems.

Almost every wedding I’ve ever photographed that has involved dancing has resulted in the Bride’s wedding gown coming unhooked. I’ve photographed over 500 weddings and this happens about 80% of the time. In some cases there’s nothing a seamstress or designer can do. If someone steps on the back of your gown while you are dancing it’s going to come undone. However, if you know you like to dance and are planning on being a part of all the action, (which I hope you are) I’d suggest letting your Bridal Salon know this so they can put extra hooks on your bustle. Sally from Gown Restoration in Orange suggests having several white safety pins attached underneath the bottom of your gown in case you need them. She has some more great tips about caring for your wedding gown available at: www.GownRestoration.com

2. Flowers that hide too much of your gown.

Photographing a Bride on her wedding day is one of the most important assignments a photographer can have. I’ve seen so many beautiful gowns that are obscured by the bride carrying large bouquets of flowers. I can have them positioned properly for the formal posed photographs, but for many key moments through-out the day they are held too high and they hide way too much of the dress. Two examples of this would be; walking down the isle at your ceremony and being introduced at your reception. If you love the idea of having a large bouquet of flowers, remember to practice holding your flowers low as you’re walking. You’ll be glad you did when you see your photographs and video.

3. Seeing “you” during the ceremony.

I personally like veils. They’re fun to photograph, they blow in the wind, and they add a classic look to a contemporary gown. Here’s where a veil can cause problems, if it’s not designed and attended to properly; it’s when you are turned towards your husband and you are reciting your vows and exchanging rings - and no one can see you face or expression! Cameras are flashing like crazy. Everyone is wondering is she: a. crying, b. smiling, c. laughing, or e. all the above. It’s the most wonderful moment in your life. You invite everyone that is special to you in the whole world to witness this moment - and they can’t see your face. They can usually see the groom fine, because his face isn’t covered. The same thing can happen with a hairstyle that hides the right side of your face. Remember that the bride will be on the left side during the ceremony and the right side of your face will be what everyone gets to see, or not!

4. Having parents taking photographs.

This isn’t as big as the first three, but it’s something that I feel should not happen. My daughter just turned 7 this year and if I’m lucky enough to see her get married many, many, years from now, (did I say many) I hope to be able to enjoy the day and be part of the celebration; meeting her new family and dancing with everyone. I don’t want to be taking photographs, and having my face behind a camera seeing much of the day with one eye closed. I want to be able to take everything in and not miss a moment. This is why a good photographer is so important. You will want to be able to relive all those wonderful moments that made your day so special. Tell your parents that you will have all your photographs available on-line for them to see and to order from within 10 days after your wedding. They can choose as many as they want.

5. Not scheduling enough time, or having too much time.

This is a complicated and difficult issue to resolve in the northeast. If you are getting married in a Catholic Church on a Saturday and you want to have an evening reception, you will probably wind up with a several hour gap of time between the ceremony and the reception. Most Catholic Churches have what’s called a Saturday Vigil Mass around 5:00pm, proceeded by confessions or reconciliation. So, the latest you can get married might be around 3:00. Now most reception halls try to schedule 2 weddings on Saturdays, one from 12:00 to 5:00 and the other from 7:00 to 12:00. Sometimes the site will let you start as early as 6:00 or 6:30, but not much earlier than that. You’ll be looking at 2-3 hours in between the ceremony and reception. This is great for me as a photographer. We can go almost anywhere for photographs if the weather is nice. Have the guys in your wedding party pack some coolers; one with just water and soda, and bring along plenty of snacks. (It’s a good idea to have some food around if everyone is drinking). But, if it’s raining, we can’t stay in the church for very long or get to the reception too early, because of their schedules, so we have to think of an alternative. The best solution that I have been able to come up with is to go to a nearby Hotel. Most of the nicer Hotels have nice lobbies and even large carports in front where we can stop by for some photographs with your limo or party bus. The Hotel’s lounge is usually open and your wedding party can have a few libations and order some snacks while we are taking some photographs. But what about our guests, you may ask? What can they do? Options might be: a casual get-together at your parent’s house (light snacks and soft-drinks only, you don’t want your guest drinking steadily for 7 hours!) or possibly a get together at the Hotel you have reserved for your guests. Most would be happy to give you a great price on a small room or a suite for a couple of hours, since you’re giving them business with all of your guest staying there. If it’s a business hotel that’s usually booked during the week and slow on the weekends, they might even include it for you. Another suggestion may be have a small directory printed up for your out-of-town guests with some things to do in the area; nearby shopping malls, museums, art exhibits, aquariums or even nice parks. Guests that live nearby will go home and cut the grass or watch a ballgame.

6. Kids At Weddings.

This is a tough one! I’ve been on both sides with this one. Being a parent with 2 younger children, who have been in Wedding parties, as well as having photographed many weddings with children I can make a few suggestions. If you ask most parents if they would enjoy your wedding reception more if their young children weren’t there, they would probably say “yes” 8o% of the time. If I had a chance to go to a formal party with dinner, dancing, and an open bar, I would prefer to enjoy the party with my spouse and let my kids have fun at home with a babysitter. However, many children do have a lot of fun at weddings and can enjoy being part of your day as long as they don’t dominate the party and take away from the Bride and Groom. If you decide to have children at your reception, I have a few suggestions and tips that I’ve picked up over the years. Naps and sleep are really important for young children. My son was in a wedding when he was 4 years old and the 2- year-old flower girl was much better than he was and I was to blame. There was a rehearsal the night before at the church followed by a dinner. He should have been taken home after the church, but I thought it would be fun to have him go along with me to the restaurant. Big mistake – he stayed up too late, and didn’t fall asleep right away, because he was overtired and not in his own bed. So, the next day he barely made it through the ceremony. I’ve been at so many weddings and heard, “But they were so great at the rehearsal last night.” Be sure your special ring bearer or flower girl gets a good nights rest the night before your wedding. Be sure to have someone other than mom or dad (If they are in the wedding party), keep an eye on them during the ceremony. Snacks in a zip-lock bag, (they open quietly), juice boxes, (apple not grape- in case of spills) a coloring book with crayons (not markers) If your little ones are going to be part of the reception a goody bag with books, puzzles and quiet toys will go a long way to keep the kids busy at the table. Have your reception hall get their meals to them right away. Have your band or DJ play a few kids’ songs during dinner: i.e. Who Let The Dogs Out. Then, if possible, have someone take them home early so mom & dad can have some fun. This way when you have children everyone will remember how nice you were to their kids during your wedding and you’ll have lots of babysitters –which are more valuable than gold, diamonds, or money!

7. Missing your cocktail hour.

Many times, your cocktail hour will be the time that is used by your photographer for formal family and wedding party photographs. Other times, the photographs have already been taken and the Bride and Groom, along with their wedding party end up spending the hour sequestered away in a bridal room with limited hoer dourves and drinks. Think about being a part of your cocktail party instead. Enjoy the friends and family that you may not see again for who knows how long. Everyone will tell you that your day will go by too fast, so you won’t want to miss any part of it. I know, because it happened to me at my wedding, almost thirteen years ago. I thought since I had been photographing weddings for 12 years, that I knew everything – wrong! We had both our ceremony and reception in the same place – Grassy Hill Lodge in Derby. Towards the middle of the party I looked at my watch - it was 4:30! I couldn’t believe our party was almost over. I asked my Dad what time it was. Same time, 4:30. I lost a full hour somewhere and never got it back! It’s amazing how fast your wedding day will go by, and no one can prepare you for the shock. So, don’t miss your cocktail hour if you’re in the building and not having photographs taken. If you are having your ceremony and reception at the same location, you might even consider having your formal photographs taken before everything begins. This will give you extra time to spend with your guests. My wife and I saw each other before our wedding day and we’re still married almost 13 years later.

I hope you have enjoyed these few little tips that don’t appear in the Bridal Guides. If you are looking for a photographer for your wedding, please feel free to give me a call. I would love to meet with you and to chat with you about your wedding. If I’m not available on your special day, I can certainly give you some recommendations for some wonderful photographers.